Die to find life?

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his Father's glory with the holy angels." Mark 8:34-38

These verses are crazy! If you want to save your life you will lose it? Saving it for the gospel??? Yeah but how do I do this? This section I have been stuck on for a year now. Not cause I read slow but just trying to lose my life to save it. It just makes me think and how God wants us to be sold out for Him and only Him. 

I want to live my life looking for ways to DIE! Die to myself and have CHrist as the only thing that I live for. I have so much in my life that clutters up and I can't see God clearly. I want to live life to the fullest in light of Christ but how do I do that? How do I lead my boys to that heart. How do I lead my wife to that heart. I need the biggest help with my heart and just making it pure day after day, minute after minute and yes...second after second. Just because I'm a "pastor" doesn't mean I'm perfect:) I want to be pure, loving, kind, encouraging, the perfect husband...everything under the sun, moon and Cluck U! 

God mold me into the man you want me to be! I never want to be able to say I'm done growing and dying to myself. I want to see you in whole new lights and hear from you in whole new ways. Make me a great husband! Make me the man my wife needs! Let me take the lead and show people around me who I really am...in you! I want to serve you and love you more and more...thank you for this week and everything that you have been showing me. I thank you for the cross and sending that son of yours! Thank you!